Tim’s Take on the Single Mom Stigma

What if I told you that there are occasions when men are put down, ridiculed, and even made fun of for stepping up to the plate of fatherhood? Crazy Right?  Now granted, most of this comes from an individual’s “keyboard courage;” however, being presented to the wrong person could be damaging and influential.

Recently while checking and responding to social media messages, my wife came across a subject who had an opinion. The subject suggested that I was less than intelligent (not exactly how it was worded), for coming into the life of a single mother of three children where the father was absent. The subject suggested that my wife was looking for a “baby daddy” and was able to sucker a “Beta male” into that world.

As I initially found this to be ridiculously comical and promptly preceded to make jokes, I did stop to reflect for a moment.  I thought to myself that statistically speaking there are a lot of children left without fathers due to the male’s choice. In fact, it is also proven that a lot of children that act out and have issues come from fatherless homes. This is a hugely traumatic event that the child must endure. Then throw in the mix of children that also already have mental health issues, this could potentially exacerbate the situation. Therefore, you would have to conclude that whether biological or not a solid male in the home that treats the children right would only be beneficial.

Gentlemen, rest assured that women don’t usually have babies without the intention of being with the guy forever. Most of the time they have children with a man that they believe will stay. Unfortunately, this does not always happen, and the women should not be shamed for it. They endure a significant amount of trauma from the event itself and must raise the child alone. Most of which are fully capable of making a life without a man and don’t need a “baby daddy”.

What we should be doing as males is be lifting each other up. I will openly applaud and encourage any man that steps up to the plate and becomes a good father regardless of blood. I can assure you that it does not make you weak, “beta”, or unintelligent. In fact, it makes you more “Alpha” than you know.

Be careful as what you say to people as you never know their walk or where they are in it. Gentlemen that accept this journey into fatherhood, please do not allow anything or anyone to dim your light. To you, I say bravo, gents. Let’s raise the next generation to be better men.  

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